Thursday, January 16, 2014

Christmas Papa frita

Our vacation south to the states of Goa and Kerala was a welcome, two week escape from Delhi and the cold. These two weeks included both Christmas and New Year, so from the first stages of planning we knew we were going to have to do something awesome for New Year. Christmas is great, but it really is a family holiday. New Year, however, is an awesome holiday to celebrate the promise the future holds and that promising future can be enjoyed with friends, family, strangers, or by yourself if that’s your jam. We had run through a few different ideas of how we wanted to cross over into 2014, but the idea of hiking to the highest peak in South India was quickly realized to be an impossibility with just a quick internet search. Next was the thought that we could spend the night on a houseboat on the backwaters of Kerala (Houseboat = boat with a hotel room on it, Backwaters = an elaborate series of canals and lakes spotted with islands which runs directly into the Ocean making much of it brackish.) That became unfeasible because traveling south turned out to be more difficult than we figured it would be so we wouldn’t make it to Alappuzha (one of the centers for backwater tours) in time. Finally, after much painstaking research (talking to someone at a tourist center), we decided that we would extend our stay in the city of Kochin to include the 31st to the 1st. This would mean returning to Kochin after just one night away in the beautiful, mountainous region of Munnar. And why, pray tell, did we decide to do that? Because, gentle reader, we wanted to see Santa burn.

At around 10:00 New Year’s Eve, after dinner, we hit the street and headed down to the beach front. It was crowded, but not the busiest I’d seen it even in the short time we had been there. We walked down the beach, but the crowds of people seemed to be evenly split between walking towards and away from where we believed the festivities were to be paramount. This seemed odd as I figured this was really the big celebration in Kochin – the south Indian Ball-Drop, if you will. Just as I was starting to consider turning us around or asking directions, assuming I had misunderstood the instructions I had gotten after our tickle massage (don’t wanna talk about it), Carrick pointed ahead and off to one side and said “There.” That we had arrived was evident by the large crowed gathering around a raised concrete area surrounded by police with “Lathis” which are basically nightsticks only longer. On this concrete platform, behind the police and busy with officials and drummers entertaining the masses, was the reason everyone had gathered. In the center of it all was a nearly thirty foot tall Santa Claus. He wasn’t dressed in the traditional Red and White that we have come to know but rather a brown hat, a greenish-brown corduroy jacket, and a cane in his hand. 

As the time got closer to midnight the officials started to stir and he was draped in a garland of firecrackers. This most combustible of accessories was to be the ear-busting fuse to start the effigy. Now, I’m pretty sure I’ve done my part to express how loud and concussive the firecrackers here are, but just in case you’ve missed that particular PSA, here it is again in summary: “Very.” So with that in mind when I saw them wrapping Mr. Claus, or Christmas Papa as Wikipedia would have me believe he is known in this region, in yards and yards of firecrackers, I became a bit weary of how near we were standing. Which could be described as: “quite.”

The crowd filled in as time brought Santa closer and closer to immolation. At one point a police (I finally got around to watching the first season of The Wire) came over and recommended that Saadia, our female travel cohort, coworker, and friend, move over to a different area. She declined and the officer moved on. We later figured out that the officer had been directing her to a women’s only area which had been boxed off with heavy metal barricades. It was a good idea she didn’t accept this advice as what happened next actually managed to bend and topple several of these dividers. Knowing Saadia she would have been pressed right up against them, with her camera held high, only to get excellent footage of her own tragic death.

At ten seconds ‘til, someone struck a flare. The fuse was lit moments after and then, rather unsurprisingly in retrospect, the Christmas Papa ignited so quickly that it was really less of an effigy and more of an anthropomorphic bomb. The people in the crowd in front of us pushed back hard to escape the blast and intense heat. This created a human crush which knocked Carrick and Saadia and many others lesser than myself down. I managed to keep my feet, either through concert experience or dumb luck, and I and everyone else who managed to stay upright began hauling people to their feet. Once everyone was up I finally had the mind to look up and see what had become of the old man.

This.

After the initial panic, everyone had started cheering, yelling, and dancing. The drummers were pounding away and the atmosphere, not the one filling with cubic kilometers of smoke but the figurative atmosphere, was one of incredible mirth and camaraderie. The fact that people’s reaction to the panic and push was to stop and help those who had fallen is really worth noting. Not every crowd I’ve been in is like that, so when you see it you know you’re in the right kind of place; a fact quickly juxtaposed by the place we ended up about an hour later.

The flames and the crowd began to die down, so we decided to head back towards our hotel but through the back streets so we could see the festivities as we went. Turns out that other than the beach party there wasn’t a whole lot to see. Many families had created their own normal sized Christmas Papa effigies to burn at home, but those had long since died out. We decided on our way back to grab a beer before settling in for the night. Carrick doesn’t drink, but Saadia and I both do. We swung by a restaurant or two, but they weren’t serving alcohol for one reason or another. Finally we found a place that had people in it drinking, but it had closed its gates for the night. Saadia managed to talk our way in (Carrick and I assisting with what he calls the “white pass”), assuring them that we would not order food. We got our drinks and sat happily watching the waiting staff making use of the openness of the restaurant and the fact that it was closed to dance and throw water on each other. It was a wonderful scene, but all the while people had begun to gather around the outside of the fence surrounding the seating area. The growing crowd would come over and try to bum alcohol or cigarettes. Some just stood and stared. Slowly the mirth died away as more and more of a mob started to form outside. The final straw was when a number of drunks on the outside broke one of the gates, which had been chained shut off, of its hinges. Much of the outside crowd was run off by the employees, but that somehow led to an internal conflict. It’s hard to say what happened, but it might have been because one of the workers stopped another from going after the people who damaged the gate. From here the tension grew, so Saadia (yet again demonstrating her impressive abilities of persuasion) managed to convince them to give us a second round for the road. There was a while before the crowd outside thinned enough and some of the tension subsided so that we could actually leave without (or with less) fear of being mobbed for attention or possibly violently. Finally we left and walked, quickly, across the gravel lot to our hotel. It took me a few embarrassing minutes to manage to get my beer opened without a bottle opener (the solution, turns out, was to give it to Saadia AKA the problem solver), and I had just taking my first sip when more fighting broke out in a small house next to where we were staying.
At first it just seemed to be a yelling match, which Carrick and I watched closely, but the second a punch was thrown we ran down the stairs (four flights) and onto the property of the kerfuffle. The violence of the fight shocked us both. Two people were curled up on the ground with separate groups surrounding them being kicked, stomped, and punched. We immediately split up and each went to a group, pushing people off and dragging the downed people to their feet. There were others in the group helping us to break it up, and others still who were fully focused on trying to get Carrick and I to leave. I went into pacification mode and tried to calmly direct the people who seemed to be causing the most problem (either as the focus of much abuse or the primary aggressors) to separate or just leave. It’s hard to do when you don’t know what has happened or who belongs where. As the yelling continued I realized that these were the same people from the restaurant. Apparently after closing down, they had brought the fight to someone’s ridiculously nearby home and continued it there. I was working with a group of other peace makers trying to convince some he should just leave and “common dude let’s just get out of here”, when I turned just in time to see Carrick, surprisingly deftly, sidestep around someone who was going after a third party and put them in a triangle choke (that’s a rear-naked choke in some circles (or octagons)). The guy didn’t let up at Carrick’s restraint, continuing to thrash and swing at no one in particular, so Carrick put some pressure on and dropped the guy in less than two seconds. Carrick immediately let up the pressure, pulled the guy to his feet (he only went limp for a moment) and then turned the figuratively punch drunk, literally drunk attacker around and just walked him off the property. We got involved in a few more little dust ups until enough people left or just gave up that we were pretty sure the violence was over. One rather big guy with no shirt got right in my face and started trying to scare me off the property. “This is not your business why don’t you just…” knots up his brow looking for the English “…Fuck off…” there it is “…and go to your home.” I told him that I just didn’t want anyone getting hurt and that if people started to get hurt it becomes my business. He didn’t like that but I had already decided to leave as it appeared to have calmed down. He was clearly challenging me, but I wasn’t there to start more conflict I was trying to defuse it. He got to feel like he won and I got to prevent yet another person from being badly beaten that night. We moved to the sidelines and just kept an eye on the place to make sure that the fighting was actually over. That was the end of the violence for the night, unless you count what I was about to do to Michael Jackson.

As we headed back up stairs and were getting settle back into our beer, a few others who were staying at the hotel came over to chat. One of them said, rather out of the blue, that he really liked Michael Jackson. Saadia, being a rather talented communicator, said quicker than I could recover from the whiplash of the subject change, “can you moon walk?” He immediately does the most spectacular moon walk I’ve ever seen in person. Turns out he is a dancer. He then proceeds to show off his moves, then invite Saadia up to dance with him, who then invites me up to dance with both of them (to take some of the attention off of her as we had begun to form a crowd) and we end up dancing for something over an hour (although I wasn’t dancing the whole time) playing follow along to the guy who actually knows what he’s doing. At one point I looked up from trying to follow along to see something like a dozen people standing or sitting around watching (Carrick, standing on the sidelines, got a count of 18 at its peak). I haven’t a clue where most of them came from. Now, there are many things which are unsure in life, many things which wax and wane, things which seem to be in a constant state of flux; I’m a terrible dancer. That’s my pillar. Fortunately I’m a light-weight and two beers and some homemade wine is enough to make me ignore that pillar and make an ass of myself in front of, apparently, 18 strangers and Carrick with my camera. Oh god. Carrick had my camera…


After the dancing and Saadia’s photo shoot, which was every single guy there wanting a picture with her including some following us back to our room and knocking on the door, we finally got to bed. We slept hard.

Welcome to 2014. Let’s do this.

-Connor

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